Archive for December, 2008

What’s Your vomit?

Lucky with her cone

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. Prov. 26:11

Vomit eating is not Lucky’s problem (thank goodness!) , she just can’t stop licking her paw.  She licks and licks until it’s so sore she can’t walk on it…so, we make her wear the cone when we can’t watch her.  It actually makes for very good entertainment (which says alot about our family).  Bless her, she is quite clumsy when wearing the cone–always hitting walls, door frames, furniture….it would be sad if it weren’t so funny.

So, my point is…Do you ever do something continuously, even though it’s not good for you?   I’m still feeling the uncomfortable effects of eating too much due to the  post-holiday and Christmas dinner leftovers.  I know I’m eating more than I should–but it’s just SO good.

I’m about 3 months in on a movie and TV fast.  I wish I could say I’ve been faithful, but I haven’t.  But what I’ve discovered from my “slip-ups” has been invaluable, so I don’t feel too much guilt.   First of all, I know that a little bit of TV or just one movie, only makes me want more.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE and have LOVED movies–all kinds–my whole life.  I have just come to realize I am one of the weak willed women that 2 Tim 3:6 talks about.

They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desire. 2Tim 3:6

But, like a dog to its vomit, I have lingered in the living room, remote in hand, considering losing 2 hours in a story about made up and unrealistic relationships.  No harm, right?  I mean, EVERYONE watches movies, right? It’s not like I’m watching porn.  Just regular ol’ movies.  Seriously?! Yeah…seriously.  I feel like a freak.  A freak with an unspeakable,  unconventional addiction. I know most won’t understand, and that’s ok. I’ve posted on this subject before,  here.

But, it’s like a default mode for me–a habit…don’t have anything pressing to do–pop in a DVD or scan the channels for something good…  I guess it’ll just take a while to build a new habit and replace it with something  better for my mind.  So, I’ll continue running to my chair in my bedroom.   Reading through the Bible.  Learning more about God.  Listening to His voice instead of the voices of fantasy, adventure, romance, and sci-fi.    No more vomit for me.

So, what’s your vomit?

The Nativity–the Kelley family version

christmas '99The first Christmas after we started going to church as a family, I decided to take a picture for our family Christmas card.  Call it divine inspiration, or whatever you want, but I slapped some head scarves on my accommodating children (then 5 and 2) and sent them out to the back yard.   I had 1 picture left in my non-digital camera (remember those days?).  One shot was all I had.   We talked about the story of the night Jesus was born, and about Joseph and Mary, I told them to pretend….and snap! this was the shot I took.  Beautiful!   Since I am not a gifted photographer, like my friend, Misty, I totally give God ALL the credit for this picture.

Merry Christmas!

Hosea married a Gomer? tee hee

Know Him-Knowing Him–Do I really know Him?

Hosea the prophet was instructed to marry a prostitute.  And he picked one named Gomer…  To his credit, he obeys. She, the new wife/”former” prostitute, follows her own desire (and is not appreciative of the salvation that this marriage is for her) and she is repeatedly unfaithful to her husband, Hosea.

Now parallel Israels deliverance from slavery in Egypt.  The Israelites follow their own desires, worship other gods and are repeatedly unfaithful to GOD–their rescuer, salvation, deliverer.  We can look at that and say-“how stupid were they?!”  But, how often are we unfaithful?   How often do I seek some other “little g” god for security, fulfillment, etc.   I’m not unlike Hosea’s wife, Gomer (tee hee).  I was a prostitute–(NOT LITERALLY!), and God took me in as His.  I am not always faithful to Him.

Hosea says in chapter 6, “Oh, that we might know the Lord!  Let us press on to know HIM.”   and GOD confirms the value in this to the Israelites in Hosea 6:6 “I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings.”  In other words, God is saying, “I know you need forgiveness, and you feel guilty for being unfaithful, but I just really want you to know me.  If you would just know me, then everything else would fall into place.  You would easily love me and love others.”

My quest these past  2 or 3 months has been to know Him.  Just to learn more about him.  I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve never read the whole bible before.  I’ve been coming to church consistently for 9 years–going through the motions, doing the best I knew how, but missing out on sooooo much.

Everything else is worthless compared with knowing Jesus. Phil 3:8

All I want for Christmas

You know what lights me on fire?  You wanna hear what makes me really mad?  I hate hearing someone say “we’re not going to be able to have Christmas this year, b/c ____ (fill in the blank)”.  WHAT?!!  WHAT?!  What does that mean “not going to have Christmas”?!?  It means we won’t be able to buy presents for our kids.  We won’t be able to buy stuff for everyone.  So, does that mean you won’t have Christmas?!?  (This should probably be in all caps, b/c I’m typing really hard and my inner voice is screaming!)  Can somebody give me an amen?!  <<deep breath>>

Can we “have Christmas” without the presents?  Yes.  It’s about the savior of the world coming to live and die on this earth to save us.  I’m pretty sure we can acknowledge that without giving the latest gadget to our kid or a robe and slippers to our mother-in-law!

I am in one of the “lucky” families who will get to have Christmas–i.e. my kids will get presents.  They don’t need anything.  they really don’t.  They have more than most kids in the world.  My mission this coming year is to prepare my kids to do Christmas differently.  It’s too late this year–we’ve already given them their presents—a week and a half early.   I didn’t want Christmas day to be about that.

I just watched this video b/c someone I love sent it to me and it has completely messed me up!.  God’s been doing something inside me for a while now and this is it.

I love my mom

I talk to my mom every day and see her several times a week.  She lives close and I know I’m lucky.  Believe me, I know.  I lived 1000 miles away from her for a year.  But now I live 1 mile away from her.  I’m lucky.  I know my sister would love to live closer to her.  I do not take it for granted.

My mom is an incredible women.  Brave, strong, funny, beautiful, generous.  We laugh together, A LOT.  Mostly b/c I think I’m way funny…and she humors me….ask her about her witch doctor…he he.

She encourages me.  She’s a great listener.  She’s a giver. She’s wise.

She listens to me. Sometimes I drone on and on and talk about random stuff that doesn’t even matter…and she listens.  She listens because she cares.  or b/c she’s polite.  She’s made her share of mistakes in life, like we all have, and she encourages me to make the right choices.  She’s not afraid to hurt my feelings and tell me like it is.   I like that.  I need that.

For some reason, she likes to clean out her pantry every time I’m at her house.  I’ll be headed out the door and she’s standing in the pantry, pulling things out to give to me. “Here, will you guys eat these?” Here, take this box of crackers, the kids will eat these.”  or she’s in her room, “Here, take this shirt, it doesn’t fit me right.” She’s a giver.

She loves my kids and loves to spend time with them.  And they KNOW she loves them and they feel the same about her.  She’s the best grandma I know.   She’s great with advice on what to do with them too.  You know, b/c she’s been there, done that.   She’s wise.

Words could never be enough to tell her how much I love her, like her, appreciate her, need her.

Thanks, mom.  I love you!

I don’t hate Christmas…yes, I do, no, I don’t…

Yes, I do…

I’d love to “wake up” and follow JC’s advice and do Christmas without the crap, but life just won’t let me.

Whether it’s b/c of obligation, or other reasons, I have to buy gifts.  I have to do all of the Christmas stuff. I can’t avoid it.  For starters, there are some people I’d really like to honor with something special.  Although, I have a hard time balancing 2 concepts–generosity and stewardship.  How can I be generous and enjoy giving and also be smart with my family’s money. The answer is probably “creatively!” but, that takes time and brain power that I just don’t have…

My life is already almost more than I can handle.  Just the business and details of running a household, taking care of 2 kids and 3 pets, having another Full Time out-of-the-house job, is overwhelming sometimes.  Paying the bills on time (all of them), what’s for dinner, who’s got homework, etc.  I can usually stay on top of things with to-do lists–I can use these fairly effectively.  However, my to-do lists for home and work can eat me alive.  So, here comes Christmas, time to add another separate to-do list.

It feels like someone opened up my skull, took a whisk, and scrambled my brains. Now I can’t get anything done.  I know I should start earlier to get it all done, but I dread the pressure–why would I want to start it sooner than absolutely necessary??

So, should I “just say no”?  No to sending Christmas cards, no to shopping for the perfect gifts, no to lights and stocking stuffers, and homemade goodies, etc??  I don’t think I’m a strong enough rebel to say no.  I’ll cave to the pressure and somehow get through it. and somehow take care of myself and spend as much time with my Savior as I possibly can.  I don’t have a choice in that–my sanity depends on it.

How does everyone else deal with the pressure?

Just a thought about pizza

What is it about all-you-can-eat pizza buffets and men?   They have an “eat until you poop” philosophy about these places.  Is that how you get your moneys worth?  It’s just gross.

100 posts–the evolution of a blog

In honor of my 100th post–a new look!  I’m jealous of those that have “custom” designs…mine’s just a template…but that’s alright, I’m not jealous–I’m NOT jealous, that would be silly! SILLY!

When I first started this thing about 6 months ago, I mostly just wanted to talk to myself.  to record my thoughts and feelings.  I can hardly believe that I’ve thought of 100 somethings to say!

I’ve occasionally found that I’m thinking about, and sometimes worried about, who might be reading.  I read some blogs that are just stories of someone else’s life–sometimes amusing, sometimes enlightening, sometimes interesting and sometimes not.  And then there are the blogs that are designed for conversation, ministry, information, or to support a cause.  Some of my favorite blogs are by totally random people I don’t know but they just make me laugh out loud…like June at Bye Bye Pie.

So, my goal is to find and define the purpose of my blog. You know what, that’s just crazy talk…I’m not gonna do that…b/c that would “limit” my creativity.  Whatever.  Maybe in 2009. Anyway, it looks pretty. 🙂