Archive for August 6th, 2009

drop (to your knees) and give me 20…more!

I’ve now been married 20 years.  20. years.  That’s a really long time.  For me, it’s half my life.  And 20 years is a really long time to stay with the same person.  I mean, think of it, when else do you spend that long with one person–that close.  Besides family (which I haven’t ever LIVED with that long) it’s the longest close relationship I’ve ever had.  Friends come and go, and even the friends I’ve had for that long I don’t see EVERY day.

Marriage is a covenant, or promise, between a man and a woman to stay together no matter what.  For better, for worse.  On the very day you are married, you are acknowledging there will be good and bad times.  At 20 years old, I did not have a clue what that really meant.  I couldn’t comprehend that, at times, I’d get weary of dealing with the same issues, having the same arguments, or going ’round and ’round the same conflicts (or avoiding the same conflicts) for years.  Marriage is the place where you learn what it’s really like to accept someone and love them unconditionally.  It’s the place where you have to exercise true humility, giving up what you want for the sake of someone else.

Kevin and I both have divorced parents.  BUT, they divorced late in life.  My parents were married 30 years before they split up.  I was an adult with kids of my own.  and Kevin’s dad left when Kevin was in high school.   What this tells me is that after the first 20, the second 20 must be even more challenging.   And that makes sense…the new-ness wears off (ha!), kids have moved on out, you have to find a new rhythm.

So, here’s to the NEXT 20. and becoming more like my Savior  –>humble, accepting, serving, considering my spouse more than myself, and loving him unconditionally.