My mind-opened up for all to see.

Balance.  I’ve been praying for it, searching for it.   Especially as it pertains to the way I feel about the “H” word. But is balance a good thing?  It occurred to me that it’s possible for balance to be the same as compromise.  I don’t like that idea.

Last month, I announced that I’m only giving water for Christmas.  Check out the blog post here if you don’t remember.  It made me feel like a thousand pounds had been lifted off my chest.  I was actually caught enjoying some Christmas music last week.  Even if it was fairly rocked-out Christmas music–not the cheesy, Christmas Shoes type–but it was Christmas music, nonetheless.   All because I decided to forgo giving gifts this Christmas.  (for those who don’t know this about me, I strongly dislike Christmas music–I’m saving up for therapy, don’t worry)

But then…I started thinking. This is always my problem…too much thinking.

What about giving?   Is “giving” money to a charity that I care about a blessing to someone else?     The gift should be something special and meaningful to the receiver, right?

We are more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35  So, now I’m more worried about the giver being blessed, than the receiver?!  Huh?

So, if I decide to rethink the Christmas gift thing and think that every gift given must be a blessing to the receiver–something well thought out, extremely personal, and meaningful, then that brings me back to the anxiety, the shopping, the agonizing over what to buy to make everyone happy.  I can’t go there.  I get a lump in my throat, a tingly feeling in my nose, and my eyes begin to water when I even think of it.

But, what if …ah, stop.  I need to stop.    No more of these rhetorical questions that don’t have easy answers.   I’m going back to James 1:5 If you need wisdom, ask God.  Give me clarity, God. Please.

2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by christyd4 on December 5, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    You have such a good heart. Our sermon tonight was exactly on this, Christmas giving. It’s all so much! Wish we were going to be spending Christmas together. Hopefully we’ll see you the week after.

  2. […] my calling « My mind-opened up for all to see. […]

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