Not today.

Some days, I feel completely sound. On top of things. Like I can manage all the things in my life. Maybe even take on more.

Other days…not so much. I feel overwhelmed. Apathetic. Hopeless. Drowning.  Always on the verge of tears. Ready to run. To escape.

Today is one of those days. The off days.

I’m consciously putting off things I know that should wait till a better day. Avoiding opening my mouth, texting anyone unncessarily. No doing performance reviews today. Or making big plans or decisions or commitments. At the same time, trying to figure out WHY.  Why does my mind let me down (or bring me down) some days? Is it circumstantial? Chemical? Hormonal? Spiritual?

The best thing about today is that I KNOW.  Instead of just feeling crappy, I know it is “temporary”.  I know that today is one of “those” days and that tomorrow might be better…clearer.  And I TRY.  I try to replace the lie with truths.  I try to think on “these things”…things that are true, lovely, right, pure, excellent, and praiseworthy. I try not to hurt people with my words or lack of words.

Know. Try. Figure out Why. That’s what I’m doing today.

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